I wrapped reality in festive white nylon

and named it

Excludeen.

 

A projection denying

 I am 

Self-Excluding -

under the veneer

of a holiday ritual.

 

I wanted to bridge

what I feared

I could not meet within myself -

beyond myself.

 

When the holiday tore from Being,

in a conflict of engineered imagination,

I returned to what I had hidden,

placed carefully

with deliberate design.

 

I celebrated it

as though it were what

had refracted to Dissolvment

within the Borrowed Infinity.

 

A substitute for the space

I refused to meet with understanding:

the one that knits together

the whole

estranged from itself.

 

The nylon strangled the complexity

yet breathed a Mimiculous Purity,

pressing flat the perception folds

of the Wholofied

I longed to become.